Rainy Days and Sundays

Today is a rainy and chilly (to me) Sunday. Memorial Day weekend isn't supposed to be like this! We need sun and warmth and cookouts! Well, someday it will be nice in Custer for more than one day at a time. When everything comes together, this is a beautiful place to live. Upstate New York, where we come from, is a lot like this area, scenery and weather-wise. When you are young you can adapt to most anything, but the older I get the more I long for nice weather. Some would say that we have nice weather here in the Black Hills, but I am not sure I agree with that. This past year has been colder and cloudier than I like and I am not sure how much hope I have for the future, since everyone around me is already warm most of the time! I thought hotter days outside would help me, but then the air-conditioners came on and negated everything.

Well, on the positive side, I am enjoying my new eyeglasses. I can see so much better and I think I probably look so much better, though few are willing to comment aloud on that! I'm hoping the insurance will help a little on the expense. Now if I can only figure how to get some new tires for the Explorer, since I had to use some of Rol's money for the day in Rapid at doctor appointments, lunches, and my glasses. Extra bills took the rest and now his tire money has vanished.

All in all, today, I am feeling thankful for God's provision in our lives. I am also feeling thankful for my kids, grandkids and great-grandkids. They bring laughter and smiles along with the usual concerns. They mostly bring assurance that life goes on and that life will always be worth the living. I used to hear my mom say that and I wondered how she could look forward to the future without my dad, and with the Parkinson's that so affected her quality of life. She said she was just living for the great-great-grandkids. Well, I guess now I can see how that happens, but in case anyone is wondering, I want my husband around for far longer. And I want to serve my Lord for far longer and I guess I just need to get busy and quit my whining...........!

A Special Day

Today I am thinking back on the day that I finally got to meet my firstborn! It had taken 3 rough days to give birth to him and we were all very tired! The first thing I asked for when they took me back to my room was a cup of coffee and a piece of toast, and that is something I still ask for to this day. My diabetes experience has robbed me of that favorite food experience but I have found that I can have sourdough bread (toasted) with my coffee and so things are getting better! I need to mention that after we got Scott home from the hospital he developed colic and cried for 6 weeks straight, 24/7. But, even still, we loved him from the start and 41 years later we love him even more. He was an easy child for us to raise after those first weeks and the bond that God gave us has never wavered. He is smart, witty, handsome, loving, caring...and no, he did not pay me to say that. Scott, I hope you are having a good birthday and that you have many, many more. Thanks for all that you are to me and don't ever change!

Then, the second subject for this day is the 19th wedding anniversary of my only daughter and her husband, Rudy. Lisa, I hope you are enjoying this day off with your family, and that you are feeling well enough to have a good time and possibly a good meal. It takes alot of grit and alot of patience and alot of love to get this far in your marriage journey. I am very proud of you two and pray God's blessings on your next 19 and more. I know that 44 years is not long enough to spend with your dad (from my viewpoint!) and I know that you feel the same about Rudy.

I am so glad that May 18th ever became a special day for our family. Regardless of whatever happens in our lives, we have each other and we have alot of love! God bless both of my kids who are celebrating today. God is good!

A Good Report

Well, this morning I had my regular doctor's appointment to discuss my latest lab and my glucose counts. I always go into these meetings with trepidation because I have been focusing on the high counts for the past 3 months, instead of the good counts. So, today I was especting the worst. Guess what?! My average A1C for this past three months has gone down from 6.2 to 5.9! The doctor was impressed, and I was surprised! She said all my numbers look great (awesome, was her word) and she is cutting out one medicine entirely and halving the dose in another. That will save me money and perhaps it will help me feel better in some other ways, also. The lab tests included thyroid this time, and liver, as well as the usual kidney checks and glucose checks. It was a good morning for us and I have remembered to thank God for His care and help. I actually weighed 2 lbs more today than the last test, and for me that is more good news. Hopefully, I can keep it up and beat this whole thing, eventually.

On another note, we thoroughly enjoyed getting to know my youngest grandchild this past week when Scott and Katy brought Zac to visit. The weather did not cooperate as much as we would have liked, but the most important part of the week was getting to know each other better and enjoying the love that we have for each other as family. Long talks and remembering past fun are the things I like best and there was not enough of that, but we have hope that the future will bring more visits and more time to enjoy each other. God is very good to us and I really am thankful for all He has done.

Off to walk the treadmill! As I do, I pray for all of you and remember all your needs and also all your blessings.

On a positive note....

I guess when you are writing to release frustrations or to vent about life in general, it serves you right when things go well for awhile, leaving you with no inspiration (or need) to write! Lately, God has been answering prayer and reminding me how much He cares for me. This last week I spent many hours in prayer for several of my loved ones who were on a long and difficult road trip. You would think I would be able to rest in God's demonstrated protection of them and maybe relax, or at least sleep at night! Not so, this time. And do you all know what stress does to glucose levels? It was not a pretty thing....leading to some depression and down time. That has passed and things are back to normal, I think. I had a good session with my diabetes educator this morning, and came away quite encouraged. My weight refuses to grow, but everything else looks okay. I have my next A1C count next Friday, so we will see if I am doing as well as we all think. Now, if only this Winter (Spring?) weather would settle down for more than a day or two at a time and give me the sunny days I so desperately need - well, then I think I would have to change my blog to reflect God's marvelous care of me and mine. What do you think?

In the Grand Scheme of Things....

I am taking notes today about how my "woes" fit into the grand scheme of things - you know, things that really matter when all is said and done. The moving Tenebrae service last night reminded me that whatever happens in my life, Jesus is still alive and thus my life is worth living! Leaving the sanctuary last night with that darkness settling over my soul...well, let's just say that I am so glad that I know that Sunday's coming! The fact that I have Jesus in my life is more important than my health, my finances, my image, and whatever else I currently complain about. My husband reminded me just now that the fact that he and I are together and able to go for walks is really more important than anything else. So, if you hear me whining, remind me that my hay fever is a small price to pay for the beautiful flowers that color my world. Remind me that my aching shoulder and neck are better than no arm at all. Remind me that being so cold these days can be helped, at least, by my newer jacket, my bedroom heater, and a nice warm hood to block the wind as I walk. Remind me that so many children have so little to eat, while I complain about no variety in my diet and that I can't eat my favorite foods. Remind me that Diabetes is bad, but manageable - unlike some terminal illnesses. Remind me that I have a home to live in and food to eat and clothes to wear. But, most of all, remind me that God works all things together for my good. He is in every situation that I face and because I ask Him to have His will (not mine), I can rest in how it all plays out! He is risen! He is risen, indeed!

Starting something new

I have been thinking a lot about how my diabetes diagnosis has defined me this past 8 months. I don't want that to be the case, but I can't seem to get past it. What I eat, when I eat, when I have to test - all these things have to be taken into account every day. They set my schedule and they determine my activities. Everyone tells me that this will change as I get farther along. I sure hope so. I want to be defined by how I serve God and the witness I leave for Him. I want to be known by how I have parented my 3 children, by the kind of wife I have been, by the example I have set for others. I used to feel confident about most of these things, but this new disease has robbed me of my self-confidence. Now I am working on remembering that my confidence continues to be in the Lord, and He has not changed. One of my favorite songs reminds me that the God of the mountains is still God in the valleys. During my many dark, rough nights this past year, the song resounds that the God of the daytime is still God in the night. This year I want to concentrate more on that fact and thank Him more for His faithfulness and goodness to me and to my family.