Tough Times Require Prayer

I have been thinking for weeks that it is time to update this blog.  Today is just one more day in what has been a rough couple of months for me and mine.  The first big event was the announcement that the Dakota District is closing our Custer Wesleyan Church.  Lots of tears, some anger, lots of questions, much prayer...and here we are into April and nothing really settled.  That is just the first thing, though.  Second was a growth that appeared on my face overnight in March and scared me half to death!  After a few days of praying and psyching myself up, I went to the doctor and had it removed.  Praise God that it was benign and now all I have to do is figure out how to pay the bill - but that is better than the alternative!  The third problem is that we need to figure how to take care of Wildcat.  Once Dan and Stacy are moved on, there will not be enough money coming in, nor will there be enough staff to do the work.  We all have ideas of how things can be made easy, but it looks like God will have to undertake for us.  We cannot accomplish any of this on our own.  If  we pray 24/7, there are probably not enough days to get it done.  But our God is a big God and He only needs to speak the Word and we can breathe easier.  We know He has a plan for all of us and we are asking that He continue to implement that plan without interference from any of us.  All we ask for is patience, grace, wisdom, and (kind of) to please hurry up?  Well, then today we spent a tense afternoon looking for funds to pay Lisa's house payment, which was our fourth big problem.  We got to where all we could do was say, "Help!" and some of us could not even get that much out!  But with some creative shuffling and a little extra help and more prayer, the payment was made.  We still need some more by Friday, but we are breathing a little easier.  There are many more problems yet to be solved because of this decision of the Dakota District.  It is affecting many people, in many different ways.  We are all impacted and we are all making changes.  We can only pray that we will react well, and that we will learn from all this what God  wants us to learn.  He has a future for all of us and it is one of hope and promise.  It is also probably not what we were expecting when we moved into 2012. If the last 69 years is any indication, this future will be even better than we had expected!  My response is still, "God is good - all the time!" and  "All the time - God is good!"  That does not mean it will be easy.  "God give us strength to finish this race well."

Father's Day

I hardly ever write about my dad and I don't speak much about him, either. That is not because he was a bad father. I think it is just because by the time I knew him (being number 9 of his 10 children), he was quite busy keeping food on the table and clothing all those kids! I spent the first 20 years of my life being afraid of him because he was strict and gruff and usually had his mind on things other than me. Way back then, I didn't understand why that was so, but now I do. Thinking back on my childhood I think that the fact that my birth followed 3 boys probably had a lot to do with his distraction! Those boys always seemed to be getting into trouble. Because of that, I decided to be extra quiet and not create any waves. I never asked him for any money or favors because I was sure he would say no and I did not like the way he said no. My mom, many years later, asked me why I thought he did not love me when he was so clearly proud of me and pleased in all that I did. I told her that I did not sense that and that he never said he loved me. I decided then to actually tell him that I loved him and see what happened. When he looked surprised and then said, "Well, I love you, too!" everything changed for me. Our relationship became much more relaxed and satisfying. I decided then and there that if I had my own children, I would make sure they knew how much I cared.

My oldest sister told me that the father she remembered was not the one that I described to her regarding my childhood. I learned from her that parents change as the family changes . I had not known that my dad could have been an opera singer because I had never heard him sing, or that he played the fiddle for the family when he was younger. I missed out on a lot and I regret all that. Now that there is no one left to talk to me of my mom and dad when they were young, I wish I had asked more questions and looked at more pictures. This year I decided to make a list of the attributes that I could personally attest to, regarding my dad. I know he was a hard worker, providing for his family faithfully. I know that he insisted on moral behavior in dress, language, and lifestyle. He loved my mom very much. He was frugal and patriotic and always present in the home when he was not working. He was very tall. He made room for his own elderly father in our home a portion of each year until Grandpa's death. He took us on a yearly trip by saving all his dimes in a big bank. He had some military service but I am not sure about what or when it was. All these things I can remember that are good. I have decided that for 2011 I will not dwell on the disappointments I had with him because I now realize that we are all flawed and that as parents we do the best we can.

When I first began to learn about the God who loves me, I had a problem referring to Him as a father because I had no close relationship to draw upon. I still struggle with that, preferring to trust that the Jesus I love said that He and the Father are one, so I don't have to worry. I believe that my heavenly Father understands and all is well. So, since my earthly father is no longer here to celebrate on Father's Day, I offer this from one of my favorite authors, Beverly Lewis: "All honor and praise to our heavenly Father, Creator, and ultimate mender of broken hearts..." Sounds like a father to me!

Our Omaha trip, 2011

We have been back almost a full week now and it is about time I wrote about our trip to celebrate Zac's 3rd birthday. You know that I have had a problem with travel for many years now. As a result, I seldom leave the Black Hills area. With my blood pressure medicine working and my low-carb/exercise diet, I have been having much more success going to Rapid City so I decided to try a trip across the state. Armed with much prayer support, we started out on a Thursday morning and immediately felt a peace and relaxation that I have not felt in a long time - even on Friday as we traveled the Interstate with its high speed limits! That is a real miracle and I thank God for His care of us and our friends and family for their prayers and thoughts in our behalf.

Our whole week there was a fun and relaxing time. It was cold and snowy and one whole day Katy and Scott stayed home and we played lots of games, all of which I lost. We got to play with Zac a lot and we watched his Toy Story movies many times, which turned out to be a great joy! He calls them his "Woody Buzz-Lighter" movies and he has the Woody doll and the Buzz Lightyear (sp?) and keeps them with him almost constantly. He is so cute and smart, of course.

The church we attended there was Avery Presbyterian Church in Bellevue and it was a wonderful experience. The people are very friendly, the music to my liking, the sermons good, and we went out to eat afterwards! What's not to like? Two memorable things from the service on February 6th were a new understanding of the term "Blessed" in the Sermon on the Mount, and an admonition in the Kids moments that we have everything inside of us that we need to be happy (God and His strength and joy). The final song that day was, "Here I am, Lord," and this song has always blessed me and spurred me on to renewed ministry. I have also heard Him calling in the night and want to be led by Him and to hold His people in my hands! Also on that Sunday, I finished a book by Phyllis Whitney and one section, in particular, helped set the stage for our return trip. She says, "You have the strength in yourself that you have always had. A strength that is greater now than when you were young. Accept and listen. Accept what your spirit already knows. If ordeal lies ahead, you will meet it, face it without faltering. The power you need is within you always. Use it."

So our return trip was as fine as the trip out had been. On Monday night we got about 4 inches of snow in Oshkosh, where we spent the night. But we had so much visiting and remembering to do with these old friends of ours that to be snowed in would only have been a delight! However, the roads were cleared and we got back on Tuesday without stress, and with a few bucks in our pocket! God is so good! My final thought is about the UPS truck that we saw in every town we went through. We like our Sully in Custer and seeing that truck every time we turned around just made it seem like home - like a comfort food. Just another way our Father watched over us and made our way pleasant!

September Musings

Much time has passed since my last entry on this site. As I look back on my bound journal entries for that period of time the overwhelming sense is that God has been good! Actually, this was so evident because several things have gone wrong during those months! I really needed to recall just how good He is and has always been to me. The special times of celebration also reminded me that in my life the good does outweigh the bad. Do you find that to be true in your life, also? He is so patient with us during our "whine" times because He knows that eventually we will wake up and take note of the many blessings He sends our way! In fact, sometimes I think He must chuckle as He watches me worrying and being depressed because He knows how joyful I will be when I finally see what He has been preparing for me all the time. Just yesterday we saw several prayers answered in just a few moments time and I could almost see Him smiling with laughter as I got the message that He was working on my behalf all the time - such a marvelous and loving God we serve!

So, just a few notes about my life since my July vacation in Omaha: we got to be in Kyle and Kristy's wedding and that reminded us of our own wedding and honeymoon time so long ago. I am so thankful for our 45 years of marriage and looking forward to more years with the young and handsome man I married way back then! Before July was out, our Explorer died and we now have a Ford 500. The many expenses connected with that event have been graciously taken care of by our Heavenly Father. Thank you, Lord! Next, my blood glucose count has yet to return to normal after my wonderful culinary diversions in Omaha! Hopefully it won't be long now. It is better on many days but not always. Also, our dishwasher got fixed and we appreciate having that option when we need it, since most of us in this household have sensitive skin that makes it hard to keep on top of the dirty dishes that fill up our counter! Next, Dan and Stacy's car was damaged by hail and the insurance company totaled it. They were able to get a replacement that they are happy with and that they could afford with the settlement check. God has been good to them, too.

Well, that is enough for a 6 week period, don't you think? Things are better now and I have even enjoyed some chocolate chip cookies this week. I am looking forward to seeing what else God is going to do before 2010 is finished. There were other very serious things that occurred during this period that I did not mention, and prayers are still out for those things. Judging by His record so far, all things will continue to work together for good to those of us who love the Lord!

Cloudy day musings

I am writing today only because it has been a month and I really need to keep up with this thing that I have started. At least, it seems to me like once you begin something you should make every effort to finish it. I need to set a good example for the next generation - insofar as it is up to me, anyway. So, today, it is gloomy and rainy and that really affects my mood. It is so much easier to be thankful and cheery when the sun is shining. Maybe I should be living in California or somewhere where it is sunny more often than it is in South Dakota. I have discussed this with God at great length but have not succeeded in persuading Him that I need more sun! I wonder what He knows that I don't know. Regardless of my mood, though, my list of answered prayers is getting quite long! And that does truly put a smile on my face when I consider it. There are many fervent prayers yet to be answered but I have faith that the answers are on the way.

Tonight at our Ladies' Bible Study we will be studying Leah - the woman with the lovely eyes and a husband who did not love her. I am not the leader so I do not know how it will all be taught but I know for sure that I would rather have a loving husband and nothing else than to have riches and beauty and an unhappy marriage. And, Leah had God to help her and walk alongside her in her hard times. I have that, too, and a loving husband and several good kids besides! So what is all this gloominess and crying out for sunny days? Well, I am only human, you know. Check back with me in May or June and see if I have learned anything from all these April clouds and rain - maybe some flowers are in store?