Sunday, April 5, 2009
Starting something new
I have been thinking a lot about how my diabetes diagnosis has defined me this past 8 months. I don't want that to be the case, but I can't seem to get past it. What I eat, when I eat, when I have to test - all these things have to be taken into account every day. They set my schedule and they determine my activities. Everyone tells me that this will change as I get farther along. I sure hope so. I want to be defined by how I serve God and the witness I leave for Him. I want to be known by how I have parented my 3 children, by the kind of wife I have been, by the example I have set for others. I used to feel confident about most of these things, but this new disease has robbed me of my self-confidence. Now I am working on remembering that my confidence continues to be in the Lord, and He has not changed. One of my favorite songs reminds me that the God of the mountains is still God in the valleys. During my many dark, rough nights this past year, the song resounds that the God of the daytime is still God in the night. This year I want to concentrate more on that fact and thank Him more for His faithfulness and goodness to me and to my family.
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I am glad you are starting this blog site. I do understand your need to discuss and write about what is happening to you. I know sometimes I do not physically hear you when you try to explain what is happening but I want you to know that I am totally confident that you will always do and be what is right. Our God is so faithful and continues to be so even in these "golden years" that we wonder about sometimes. Keep on "truckin' along" with the Lord. I need you beside me all the time. I love you.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you now have a way to vent about the way you are feeling. Hopefully others with diabetes will see this and can be a confort to you as well as you for them. I know that none of us can know exactly how you feel or what you are going through, but remember your family loves you and is always here for you and that god will never leave your side. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI know this has been a real stuggle for you as you have attempted to adjust to something that does not always stay the same. Most of the time it seems we can set a course and know we can follow it faily closely. This new opportunity" has thrown you since it gives you no directions to set your course. You thus feel disconnected from even your family and sometimes from God. You are NEVER far from my thoughts and it is my earnest prayer that you finally find a handle you can grab onto that holds you steady in the current of life. For the past three years, especially, you have been my main source of direction and strength. I hope I can act in some way similar to that for you. All my love is yours.
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