Thinking about Family Ties

Today it is warm and sunny and has been for several days. I thought I should probably note this fact since I spend much time complaining about the weather. I doubt that my wishing for warmer climes will cease, however, so don't get too excited about today!

What I am thinking about more is various family members who rarely get notice in this blog. It occurred to me that I have not mentioned Dan, even though I wished a public happy birthday to each of my other kids in 2009! That was just an oversight that I thought I would correct before we celebrate another Thanksgiving - wouldn't want him to pretend that I am not his mom because I snubbed him. And, after all, he is the one who set up this blog site in the first place so that I could complain to my heart's content! His birthday was in June and I promise that next year I will note it properly. He is such a good kid and deserves many blessings!

I have spent many hours in prayer this past week for my sister in New York. She is my only surviving sister of the 7 girls that God gave to my mom. She lost her husband 2 years ago and has had a hard time getting through that loss. Each passing of a family member has been hard on me, as it is for everyone. I have 2 brothers left and at least one of them has had a rough year with family and finances, so I have been thinking much about all of them lately.

I also have 2 daughters-in -law who are a treasure to me but who get little notice in this blog. Stacy and Katy, I love you both and thank God daily for the support and love that you provide for my sons and for your love and care of Dad and me! May God give you peace and joy and any other requests you currently have out!

Holly, Julie, Claire - I love you much and pray for you daily, for your present and for your future. May you find Jesus sufficient for all of your problems today. I think that covers everyone that I have not mentioned previously - just so you know that I do think of you and thank God for you. Please take time today to thank God for our family - all of them - and remember that as life goes on you all will become ever more important to each other. Don't let anything get in the way of your love and care for every brother and sister you have been given. I know that I really miss all of mine, and I also know that I did not treasure them all while they were around. I was too human all those years and I would want better for you kids and grandkids and great-grandkids of mine! So, God bless and be ready for Thanksgiving Day this next week - make it the best one yet!

In all things, give thanks

It's not like I have been so busy lately that I don't have time to write. I just have other things on my mind! Lots of friends and family have been sick with this flu-like stuff and everyday more people succumb. So far, all are recovering and I pray that it remains so. October has not acted like October this year - people getting sick too early, snow coming too early, hardly any beautiful Fall weather! I know, I know - I have been counting my blessings in the midst of all this, but let me have just a few moments to wish it were otherwise. Our coffee buddies are heading South this week and that gives me pain. We have used up all the available room in our living area and really need more room or more creativity. Lately we have too much month for the money, as someone once said. I was hoping to be someplace warmer by the time cold weather really settled in, but it is not to be. Okay, that is enough complaining for awhile.

The good stuff is that Damion's tubes in his ears seem to be coming along nicely. I have been learning all sorts of new things about family members living in California, Oklahoma, Texas, and New York, because my Facebook site finally came back up after 14 days. Also, my weight seems to have stabilized and I have perhaps even gained a pound or 2 in the last few months. My newest grandkids and great-grandkids continue to get cuter as the days pass and I have the assurance that God has good things in mind for each of them! I keep seeing Gaither videos that I have not seen before and the songs bring joy to my heart. Many answered prayers remind me of God's love for me and mine. I have a new Journal to record my private thoughts and praises in. I guess I could keep on and on because I have many more good things to say. This Blog site reminds me regularly that life consists of good and bad, happy and sad. In everything, though, Jesus is enough! I hope that you are finding it so.

The future looks good

This month has been full and it is only 12 days old! First of all, my Facebook site has been down for a couple of weeks while they work on some problem on their end. I really miss being able to check up on friends and family far away and feel really out of the loop! Here in Custer we have been seeing much sickness and lots of cold snowy days - and that is not a good thing. We never did get any Summer here and Winter is usurping our Autumn days. So much for global warming, as they say. We did have some fun Summer days, but it seems like they were few and passed too quickly.

This last weekend, though, was a very satisfying one. Jenni and Ashton got married in Minnesota on Saturday. It was so sad that none of us could be there, but the pictures are good and we wish her all the best! It is exciting to see your kids embarking on a new life, but this grandchildren stuff is all new to us. So, 2 down and at least 4 more to go. Just look at Zac's most recent pictures and you can see what a heartbreaker he is destined to be - too, too cute!
I should mention that Jenni has her new teeth now. We pray and trust that this will make life just a bit easier for her. Next, on Sunday we had a young missionary family in the a.m. service, a very satisfying pot luck afterwards, and then a baptism and fellowship time in the p.m. We all agreed that it was a wonderful day, except for Dad's gimpy knee (caused by the 5 miles he walked on his Saturday hunting trip). So, life is a little bad and a little good, but there is always promise and always hope for the future - especially as we entrust the next generations to God's wonderful care and provision. As my mom used to say, the g'g'kids are worth living for if only to watch how God can make our mistakes come out right! Maybe we didn't do it all right, but we leave it all in God's hands.

I was only 28, then. Where has the time gone?

Just a short while ago, this day, my only daughter officially became 39 years old. She is not too keen on noting birthdays, but her mother is! It was a very happy day for me when God blessed me with a little girl to dress in pink and I have never regretted that day. Her birth was the easiest and quickest of the three, and she was a model baby who slept long hours. Until the time that it became clear that she was allergic to her formula, and also to milk, she brought only delight to us. The pictures from those few months of allergic reactions show many tears on her cute little face. And when she was just a little over three years old it also became evident that she was born with a congenital problem that would make her life difficult for the next 12 to 15 years, at least. God became her fortress and song early in life and I have always been proud of her triumphs and her caring, loving nature. She is a real joy to me, though I don't tell her that often enough. I could wish for her today that her life was a little easier, but I entrust her to God and His loving provision. He has a plan for us all and we don't want to get in the way but you know what they say about a mother's heart....So, Lisa Jo, I'll tell the world today that I love you and thank God for you! I hope your birthday is a happy one, full of peace and hope!

God is good!

Today is a beautiful day in Custer - not too hot, not too cold, not too wet, not too dry. And I've been out to coffee twice this week (it doesn't take much to make me happy). I got to hear from Josetta this past week and my husband finally got a newer tire for the Explorer and all four tires are balanced and whatever else you do to make the car run smoother. The monthly bills all look to be paid in a timely manner, and Jennifer has set a wedding date for October 10 (I pray "the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise"). I also got a new phone so that now I can talk more than a few minutes before the battery runs down. Now, if only my curly perm I got last week was really curly, I think I might be totally happy, but it is pretty close to 100% today! So, I think it is a good time to testify to God's provision for me and mine. Not everyone has all they seem to need, and not everyone feels really healthy today. Still, we can thank Him for all that He has done and is doing to make us more like Him and to be a beacon for Him in this world. We still have a few really important prayer requests out for family members and friends, but we have the assurance that He hears and answers according to His perfect will if that is what we really desire, and we do! God is good, and today I reaffirm that, loud and clear!

September is a favorite month

When I was younger, September was so exciting because it meant the start of a new school year with new children to teach and fun things to do. Today, September still feels good but for different reasons. I have always loved Autumn, even if it brings different allergy problems and even if it means Winter is on the horizon. The feel of the air is still pleasant and September is when it all begins. Today is Labor Day and it should be a relaxing day with no real pressure. Before the day is out I hope to have arranged for a new phone, which is desperately needed. I will plan out my week and perhaps plan out the whole month. I will plan and then God will overrule as He sees fit. That's okay with me! Then tomorrow we will spend most of the day in Rapid at the Heart Doctors for Rol's yearly stress test and to set up a research study he plans to participate in. Stacy and I will use that time to get our hair done at the Beauty College and we will all finish up with lunch out. On Wednesday we get to have coffee out with Carl and Miriam again and on Saturday Stacy and I will have coffee with some of our friends. Add to all this the fact that Husker football has begun again and the week is shaping up to be good!

In church these days we are concentrating on Holiness and Sanctification and Solitude - three heavy and wonderful subjects. God is drawing me closer to Him and I am amazed at the love I still feel when I turn to Him. I still believe in the truths that drew me way back when I first heard the good news of salvation and meaningful life in Him. I have been seeking new purpose in my life lately, and I believe He is showing me that my new purpose is just a renewal of the original purpose I was assigned when I first began to love Him. That purpose is to give glory to God and tell others the "old, old story." Pray for me as I pray for you that "God will give you a complete understanding of what He wants to do in your lives...to make you wise with spiritual wisdom...that you will learn to know God better and better...that you will be strengthened with His glorious power so that you will have all the patience and endurance you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father..." (Col. 1:9-12a)

On our way to 50!

If ever there was a day to blog, it would have to be today. When we think back to 44 years ago on this date, our first thought is that it seems so long ago. The second thought, of course, is that it seems like just yesterday. It would have been impossible to look this far into the future, and we did not try. Now that I look back, though, I think how young we were and how little we actually knew about what we were getting ourselves into. We took on that future with hope and confidence and trusting in the Lord. It is a good thing that we can only live a day at a time. Some of those future days would have scared us, and some would have been so sad that we would have wanted to not continue on with life. But here we are at 44 years and we both agree we would not want anything to be different. If we had it to do over, we would not change a thing, except to serve our Lord better and bring Him more glory than perhaps we have. Each stage of our journey so far has had its struggles, but also its triumphs and joys. The current stage is no different, except that we both agree that old age is not for sissies! There are two things that I especially want to say on this page, on this day, for all the world to see. One is that I love my husband today even more than I did 44 years ago, and in a deeper and more mature way. The second is that we want all the young people in our family to know that it really is possible and desirable to have a long and lasting marriage. The committment must be there and God must help you. Don't settle for what the world offers you and don't buy into their misunderstanding of what real marriage is. Happy anniversary, my sweetheart! May God give you many more years of good health, peace, love, joy - and may all of them be spent with me!

mentoring, reflecting, serving

This last few days I have been gaining a new appreciation for those dear, gentle, older ladies who mentored me as a teen and young adult! How hard it must have been for them to see the next generation's "new" Christianity, "new" language, etc. And I never considered their plight! God surely must have blessed them for loving me in spite of it all. I think I can take some comfort in the knowledge that I think I turned out surpisingly well - and I am now where they were, so afraid for these younger ones who call themselves Christians but act nothing like how I think they should,. and also for the yet-unsaved loved ones who seem so far away (and like impossible cases). So, do I just pray and trust and leave it to God to help them become holy? Or is it not still my place to sound the alarm and try to send nudges toward a deeper walk, a more separated life from the world? It all seems so hard to me.....I know God did the greater work in me, but I know also that their training was one of His tools. This Christian walk never ends and listening for His voice and counsel is important at every age. I don't want to disappoint the One who died for me...

Life is interesting these days

Today Stacy, Lisa, Sandra, and I went out to coffee to discuss the new year of Oasis coming up. These ladies and LauraLea will possibly constitute our staff for the 2009-2010 program year. It is usually exciting to start something new and I feel that way about this project. We all liked our meetings last year and are trying to keep the good parts and improve on the less than satifying parts from 2008-09. Looks like this year we will do more Bible study in our monthly meetings and try to do additional personal outreach on the side. I have been massively "bummed out" since our ladies meetings were changed from missions to only fellowship more than a decade ago. I really miss the missions study, prayer, and fund-raising that used to be our special job. But since that no longer seems to interest the younger ladies, we have changed our emphasis to fellowship, personal growth, and outreach . By the time I adjust to this, I will probably be in Heaven with a new kind of emphasis (constant worship and praise!) . This getting old stuff is not as nice as it is supposed to be. I am always out of step, it seems. What I wanted when I was young, I no longer want. And what I want now that I am older, is hardly ever available to me. Ah, well.....I guess we are all in the same boat. Life is a lot of difficult situations mixed in with a lot of wonderful stuff. But we often miss the significance of it until it is too late. I am glad to be able to find more time for prayer, but the prayer needs seem to be increasingly more serious. It is a good thing that the answers to our needs depend upon the one being prayed to and not on the one doing the praying! My faith never seems big enough to cover the needs, but He is certainly big enough to provide the answers. As your day wears on, be assured that I am bringing your needs to God and that He is hearing and answering. He loves you even more than I do, and that is saying a lot! Pray also for me that I will have wisdom for the jobs He has given me to do, including Oasis.

A Saturday in Custer

Today is Saturday and for some reason Saturdays seem right for posting new blogs. Maybe because I feel like Saturdays are more free and days to do different things. This was never so during our days of active ministry. Saturdays were always planning days for Sunday and so Mondays became our day of freedom. I still consider Monday my favorite day, but "not so much". So, today we plan to go into town and spend some time with the Gold Discovery Days crowd, watch a parade, wander through the exhibits. Should be relaxing if I can figure how to keep to my eating schedule in the midst of it all. Lately, my schedule has been off more than it has been on, and that reflects in my glucose counts. Also, we have to figure out how to clean the church sometime today. My husband is already tired from his week or two of coordinating our Right To Life float for today's parade. We'll just get today over with and he can relax, perhaps. Retirement has not been a life of ease for him, on many different fronts! Perhaps it looks so to some friends/family, but not to us. Well, we just thank God for His provision for us in this time of our lives, and for His great love and care as we try to serve Him in a different way.

Julie went to the emergency room last night with a high temp and we are waiting to see the outcome of that trip, Scott has had many talks with his prospective employer this past week, Zac is walking or running around like a pro, the g'g'kids are getting cuter and smarter as the months progress, Jennifer has finalized plans for a wedding in September and has undergone oral surgery in preparation for dentures, and probably lots of stuff that I have left out but that is how our week has gone and proof that life goes on after retirement!

A Good Birthday

Well, today I turned 67 and it was a good day, though a quiet one. A friend crocheted a doily for my desk or table, Scott called and also sent a card, and I got to see the Gaither Homecoming video on the old hymns that I love and miss so much. Possibly the best part of the day occurred in the evening when Dan made me a wonderful beef pot roast dinner (only about 20 carbs) and a marvelous strawberry shortcake (about 45 carbs!) Fortunately we could not afford whipped cream or it might have been even more sugary. I was asked if it was worth it and I think at the moment it was, but we shall see how the night plays out and you can ask me again in the morning if it was worth it. I would like to live to see another birthday and I would like to do it with both feet intact so let's hope I didn't overdo too much! It really was so very good and it is only once a year.

Then I went to my computer to write something for this blog site and found an e-card from my husband. And that message from him has to take first place for the events of this day! I never really feel worthy of the great love he has shown me all these years. He could have given up on me many years ago, but he did not and actually still loves and treasures me! Go figure! So, today I thank God for my Saviour, my husband, my kids, my grandkids, my great-grandkids, my friends, and beef pot roast with strawberry shortcake - in that order!

July 4th

July 4th, 2009 - Happy Birthday, America! and happy birthday to my precious Jennifer, my first grandchild - how we love and miss you! Have a happy day and know that you are special and loved beyond measure! And this July 4th will be the first one that my second grandchild will spend as a married woman - so now our Julys will be even more blessed. Growing up, my Julys were the best because in my family we had 4 birthdays so there was lots of cake and ice cream! This year, in 12 more days, I will celebrate (?) my 67th birthday with not much cake and ice cream. That's okay if I can at least have some strawberry shortcake made with biscuits, hint, hint.

You know, not everything gets better with age. But 2 things I must mention: the love and mercy of my savior, Jesus Christ, and the love and faithfulness of my husband (44 years next month). Both of these things are supreme gifts to me and I try not to take either of them lightly. On this July 4, I want to wish the same for my 2 granddaughters - a personal savior to love and guide them, and a long life with the husband that God gives to them! These days many of us are concerned about our country and what is in store for us as a nation. We have had a long and marvelous history and only by turning back to God will we see it continue. God has been good to us and how I pray that it will continue - for the sake of my grandchildren and the generations to follow. God bless America and God bless all the Benedict connections!

Redeeming the time....

This morning I settled in for coffee at the new Wrangler Family Restaurant, by myself, while my husband went off to do some quick work for someone else. We figured 30 to 45 minutes would do it. Well, almost 2 hours and many cups of coffee later, he finally arrived to pick me up! I figured we would at least eat some lunch together there, but that was not to be. So we took off to get a few things at the store, meet Lisa at the church for an errand, and then finally back home so that I could get lunch in a timely manner. I was just an hour or so late, but I think things will be okay. But, while I spent all that time drinking coffee I was listing my blessings, since that seemed like a good way to make the time productive. Following is my list. See what you think:

1. We are not homeless, like so many on the news, lately. Nor do we have a mortgage we cannot pay and wind up in foreclosure
2. So far, Social Security still pays and so we have all our needs met, though very few wants
3. We are in fairly good health
4. We have the occasional coffee money to keep my spirits up - and have had a few sunny days this past week.
5. The "new normal" that they speak of for the rest of the country in these troubling times, is our "old normal" and we are used to it and not as affected by it as others may be
6. The Inspiration Channel has begun airing Gaither Gospel Hour daily and so far I have seen all the programs, but eventually there will be some I have not seen
7. The new Wrangler is totally smoke-free, praise the Lord!
8. Sandra and C.J. are getting married
9. Jennifer had a good day at least once this past week
10. One less Blood Pressure medicine seems to have helped me stay warmer lately
11. I have not lost any more weight this past month
12. God does not grant all my prayer requests (some have later proven to not be in my best interests)
13. We have lived long enough that the early hard times now look like the good old days to us
14. In 2 months we will have been married 44 years, God willing, and are praying that we live at least long enough for our 50th
15. Though we do have lots of prayer requests we can sense that God is listening and that is all we ask

So that is my short list for today. By tonight I will have thought of just as many more. I am also willing to revise my list or add to it if my followers want to suggest some I may have forgotten.

Have a good day!

Making things right

Today I am staying at home so that I can re-align my system and my glucose activity. The weekends are always rough when it comes to eating right and keeping to a schedule, especially Sunday mornings when I eat breakfast so early and don't get to lunch until at least 6 hours later! That is not a good thing. I have to remember to bring a snack for about 9 a.m. (just as Sunday School starts), and this weekend I forgot that. Then Monday turned into a long day and I was not able to eat at the proper times. I tried to remedy that on Monday evening but I wasn't entirely successful, I guess. Overnight, my sugar got weird and I spent many sleepless hours. The familiar symptoms were all there and I should have turned on the light and tested but since I had no plan in place for immediate action, I just waited it out. Today my idea is to research possible solutions to low and high sugar scenarios and set up a plan to be ready for such things again. I have spent many hours studying this disease I have and memorizing things I need to know. Thus, life has been easier this past couple of months. Unfortunately, I failed to learn about how to control middle -of -the -night episodes. That is my goal for today.

The move for Wildcat is mostly accomplished. Just some housekeeping issues left and a few things to find a place for. We like our new location and our new design. The guys did a really good job, as did Lisa and Stacy. We are trying to make sure that the city knows where we are. Everyone is busy doing their job - my job is to continue praying and presenting these needs to God and trusting His provision. My list is quite long this week, but we have a faithful and worthy God and He has told us to bring our needs to Him. And so, that is what I will do.

Rainy Days and Sundays

Today is a rainy and chilly (to me) Sunday. Memorial Day weekend isn't supposed to be like this! We need sun and warmth and cookouts! Well, someday it will be nice in Custer for more than one day at a time. When everything comes together, this is a beautiful place to live. Upstate New York, where we come from, is a lot like this area, scenery and weather-wise. When you are young you can adapt to most anything, but the older I get the more I long for nice weather. Some would say that we have nice weather here in the Black Hills, but I am not sure I agree with that. This past year has been colder and cloudier than I like and I am not sure how much hope I have for the future, since everyone around me is already warm most of the time! I thought hotter days outside would help me, but then the air-conditioners came on and negated everything.

Well, on the positive side, I am enjoying my new eyeglasses. I can see so much better and I think I probably look so much better, though few are willing to comment aloud on that! I'm hoping the insurance will help a little on the expense. Now if I can only figure how to get some new tires for the Explorer, since I had to use some of Rol's money for the day in Rapid at doctor appointments, lunches, and my glasses. Extra bills took the rest and now his tire money has vanished.

All in all, today, I am feeling thankful for God's provision in our lives. I am also feeling thankful for my kids, grandkids and great-grandkids. They bring laughter and smiles along with the usual concerns. They mostly bring assurance that life goes on and that life will always be worth the living. I used to hear my mom say that and I wondered how she could look forward to the future without my dad, and with the Parkinson's that so affected her quality of life. She said she was just living for the great-great-grandkids. Well, I guess now I can see how that happens, but in case anyone is wondering, I want my husband around for far longer. And I want to serve my Lord for far longer and I guess I just need to get busy and quit my whining...........!

A Special Day

Today I am thinking back on the day that I finally got to meet my firstborn! It had taken 3 rough days to give birth to him and we were all very tired! The first thing I asked for when they took me back to my room was a cup of coffee and a piece of toast, and that is something I still ask for to this day. My diabetes experience has robbed me of that favorite food experience but I have found that I can have sourdough bread (toasted) with my coffee and so things are getting better! I need to mention that after we got Scott home from the hospital he developed colic and cried for 6 weeks straight, 24/7. But, even still, we loved him from the start and 41 years later we love him even more. He was an easy child for us to raise after those first weeks and the bond that God gave us has never wavered. He is smart, witty, handsome, loving, caring...and no, he did not pay me to say that. Scott, I hope you are having a good birthday and that you have many, many more. Thanks for all that you are to me and don't ever change!

Then, the second subject for this day is the 19th wedding anniversary of my only daughter and her husband, Rudy. Lisa, I hope you are enjoying this day off with your family, and that you are feeling well enough to have a good time and possibly a good meal. It takes alot of grit and alot of patience and alot of love to get this far in your marriage journey. I am very proud of you two and pray God's blessings on your next 19 and more. I know that 44 years is not long enough to spend with your dad (from my viewpoint!) and I know that you feel the same about Rudy.

I am so glad that May 18th ever became a special day for our family. Regardless of whatever happens in our lives, we have each other and we have alot of love! God bless both of my kids who are celebrating today. God is good!

A Good Report

Well, this morning I had my regular doctor's appointment to discuss my latest lab and my glucose counts. I always go into these meetings with trepidation because I have been focusing on the high counts for the past 3 months, instead of the good counts. So, today I was especting the worst. Guess what?! My average A1C for this past three months has gone down from 6.2 to 5.9! The doctor was impressed, and I was surprised! She said all my numbers look great (awesome, was her word) and she is cutting out one medicine entirely and halving the dose in another. That will save me money and perhaps it will help me feel better in some other ways, also. The lab tests included thyroid this time, and liver, as well as the usual kidney checks and glucose checks. It was a good morning for us and I have remembered to thank God for His care and help. I actually weighed 2 lbs more today than the last test, and for me that is more good news. Hopefully, I can keep it up and beat this whole thing, eventually.

On another note, we thoroughly enjoyed getting to know my youngest grandchild this past week when Scott and Katy brought Zac to visit. The weather did not cooperate as much as we would have liked, but the most important part of the week was getting to know each other better and enjoying the love that we have for each other as family. Long talks and remembering past fun are the things I like best and there was not enough of that, but we have hope that the future will bring more visits and more time to enjoy each other. God is very good to us and I really am thankful for all He has done.

Off to walk the treadmill! As I do, I pray for all of you and remember all your needs and also all your blessings.

On a positive note....

I guess when you are writing to release frustrations or to vent about life in general, it serves you right when things go well for awhile, leaving you with no inspiration (or need) to write! Lately, God has been answering prayer and reminding me how much He cares for me. This last week I spent many hours in prayer for several of my loved ones who were on a long and difficult road trip. You would think I would be able to rest in God's demonstrated protection of them and maybe relax, or at least sleep at night! Not so, this time. And do you all know what stress does to glucose levels? It was not a pretty thing....leading to some depression and down time. That has passed and things are back to normal, I think. I had a good session with my diabetes educator this morning, and came away quite encouraged. My weight refuses to grow, but everything else looks okay. I have my next A1C count next Friday, so we will see if I am doing as well as we all think. Now, if only this Winter (Spring?) weather would settle down for more than a day or two at a time and give me the sunny days I so desperately need - well, then I think I would have to change my blog to reflect God's marvelous care of me and mine. What do you think?

In the Grand Scheme of Things....

I am taking notes today about how my "woes" fit into the grand scheme of things - you know, things that really matter when all is said and done. The moving Tenebrae service last night reminded me that whatever happens in my life, Jesus is still alive and thus my life is worth living! Leaving the sanctuary last night with that darkness settling over my soul...well, let's just say that I am so glad that I know that Sunday's coming! The fact that I have Jesus in my life is more important than my health, my finances, my image, and whatever else I currently complain about. My husband reminded me just now that the fact that he and I are together and able to go for walks is really more important than anything else. So, if you hear me whining, remind me that my hay fever is a small price to pay for the beautiful flowers that color my world. Remind me that my aching shoulder and neck are better than no arm at all. Remind me that being so cold these days can be helped, at least, by my newer jacket, my bedroom heater, and a nice warm hood to block the wind as I walk. Remind me that so many children have so little to eat, while I complain about no variety in my diet and that I can't eat my favorite foods. Remind me that Diabetes is bad, but manageable - unlike some terminal illnesses. Remind me that I have a home to live in and food to eat and clothes to wear. But, most of all, remind me that God works all things together for my good. He is in every situation that I face and because I ask Him to have His will (not mine), I can rest in how it all plays out! He is risen! He is risen, indeed!

Starting something new

I have been thinking a lot about how my diabetes diagnosis has defined me this past 8 months. I don't want that to be the case, but I can't seem to get past it. What I eat, when I eat, when I have to test - all these things have to be taken into account every day. They set my schedule and they determine my activities. Everyone tells me that this will change as I get farther along. I sure hope so. I want to be defined by how I serve God and the witness I leave for Him. I want to be known by how I have parented my 3 children, by the kind of wife I have been, by the example I have set for others. I used to feel confident about most of these things, but this new disease has robbed me of my self-confidence. Now I am working on remembering that my confidence continues to be in the Lord, and He has not changed. One of my favorite songs reminds me that the God of the mountains is still God in the valleys. During my many dark, rough nights this past year, the song resounds that the God of the daytime is still God in the night. This year I want to concentrate more on that fact and thank Him more for His faithfulness and goodness to me and to my family.